It’s been a rough week. Oh God, it hurts.
About the landslide issue, after some days working to clear the path of the highway, finally the road is open for the vehicle. I can finally going back to Kuala Lumpur in Sunday after being stuck at Jengka for 4 days.
Monday, my first day at work. I will update it later.
About Putri’s issue (that I’ve post a script about it before), she’s a special partner that I known for years. In years I can’t stop from building my feeling on her. But, she had a boyfriend.
It’s not my thing to interrupt someone else’s relationship. Yet, he think otherwise.
I already being a middle man even though I just like to spend my time chatting with her because she’s my partner in crime. She’s my place to tell a story, hear a story from her, giving advice to her, swearing battle with her.
Yes, she’s the one who swearing together with me. Yes I know swearing is bad but I don’t care. I like it. She’s my kind of love. My Instant Crush.
Then, her boyfriends find out about us. He told her to leave me even I just being like stated above. I think she have no other choice. It’s like Anjali who leaves Rahul behind and hoping Tina would take care of him. Instead, Tina’s dead.
I know, too cliche but that’s an example from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. That feeling is hurting me. My part of me is gone.
Now, a girl that I know for a while leaves me when she knows about me and Putri. I didn’t tell her because I actually unsure about my feeling towards Putri until she left. I don’t even realized that she have build a feeling at me.
“I’m sorry, I do like you but I don’t love you. My love is at Putri. Sorry for doing you like this. I didn’t mean to.”
Yes, it’s my fault. I’m sorry.
It makes me wonder, is it me who are the reason why all of my past relationship failed?
I know the answer, but I didn’t learn from it. I keep doing it countless time until I didn’t realized my actual love that always with me all the time. And I mess it up.
Putri if you read this, I want you to know that I love you. I’m not good enough for you, but I want you to be mine. Will you accept my flaw after all that I’ve done in my past? Will you accept me as my soulmate?
I know the answer.
I already get used to it.
I shouldn’t write this in the first place.